The hidden message of your jealousy

Your jealousy isn’t triggered by the success of others, rather because you are exposed to a one-sided view of them. We are wired to focus on the result, not the person and the process behind it. This is why social media can be so triggering. It offers this view of success at an unnaturally fast pace in an impersonal way. However, real life cannot be contained in mere results. You are not a bad person if you experience jealousy, your mind just doesn’t consider the whole picture. We are actually a continuous work in progress. When it comes to ourselves, we know we are never quite done and this idea uneases us to say the least. In other words, we are very aware of our own humanness as an endless unfolding process of becoming. As for other people, we filter their humanness and see their results as something static, as a place where they have arrived where life is good once and for all. And we want to get there too. Social media is irresistible to many because it looks like proof of the existence of such a place, and it even seems to offer a formula for getting there (fast). While in reality it offers just a snapshot of the entire movie. If you do not realise this, your life will be a bitter rut full of suffering. The promise that inner peace will prevail when we are or have X, Y, Z is one of the greatest illusions of our time. It stems from a deep insecurity of the mind and an inner dissatisfaction because of our misalignment with who we really are. the Magnetism of an illusion Something cannot gain power over us unless we give it. So in order for an illusion to have a magnetic pull, we must be willing to abandon the truth, for the opposite of illusion is truth. We only do this when the truth doesn't please us. This is why following others (in the broadest sense) is irresistible to many, it gives us the idea of an alternative reality; the existence of a certain end station and a success formula that can be adopted. Life is an everlasting journey and success is experienced not by arriving somewhere, but by putting one foot in front of the other and tuning into your inner compass to guide you. And by enjoying where you are being led(!). There isn't a formula that can be copy pasted, not even from the greatest guru on earth. When someone is experiencing success in the material world it is because of two things: 1) being aligned with their true essence and 2) their capacity to enjoy the infinite process of becoming. Being aligned has an individual aspect - knowing who you are, what makes you tick and how your unique energy works (human design, gene keys, astrology and your inner guidance system are great places to start). And a universal aspect - knowing the laws of this human game on a collective level, which applies to all of us. The jealousy, bitterness, sadness or dissatisfaction you may feel at moments is never about the other person's success, but about being UNALIGNED with your true essence - both individual and universal. You see, as humans we all are already perfect and exactly where we need to be, even though we cannot help but always be in motion, expanding, evolving. It is the paradox of being an infinitely unfolding process that is already perfect at the same time - it’s the essence of evolution. You are the divine in human form. The mind, however, cannot comprehend paradoxes. It is generally conditioned to adopt a singular perspective and dismiss the other. The idea of two seemingly contradicting ideas such as perfection in progress, aka our essence (evolution), is rejected. And in rejecting this paradox, we are rejecting ourselves. We continue to seek peace externally and in doing so, our minds will always project onto the future. There we can never find it, because the roots of peace, contentment and success are located in our inner landscape within the present moment. Not accepting this is the real source of our restlessness and dissatisfaction. the Antidote Jealousy isn’t something to avoid. Use your emotions as indicators of your alignment with your inner Being and your own unique path. Engage with the world around you, play with it and let it guide you to a deeper understanding of yourself and your desires. Desires are the fuel for evolution. There is no end in your desiring nor at the expansion in the game we call life. Jealousy is just an invitation to surrender to your true essence as perfection in progress. Its higher purpose is to serve your evolution.

Love, Romy

Thank you for being here, I love to guide you in the game we call Life. If you like my content (this newsletter, podcast episode or instagram post), you can help me by sharing it.

⊹ These words were written on feb 2023 and sent as an e-mail. Join my email list here to never miss a blogpost and receive additional content.